Killer-Extras: Flash Fiction
The zombie apocalypse was never as much fun as when told by self proclaimed zombie hater, Tina L. Jens!
What's With All The Zombies, Anyway?
By Tina L. Jens
Looking at the army of blood and sinew-spattered
zombies shambling across the lawn, the three housemates had very
different thoughts as they scrambled for safety.
Gina sniffled quietly, not from fear, but from heartbreak.
Jason, who put the leather-and-chrome stud in “stud-muffin;” who
had a sports car, a trust-fund, and an affinity for kink that
would have shocked a professional whore; was at the head of the
undead horde.
She thought it was sweet, in a post-apocalyptic, cheesy sort of
way, when he used his own gooey entrails to lasso her as she ran
for the door.
A second zombie was just a shuffle-step behind – Jarrod, Jason’s
best friend, and would-be rival for Gina’s affections. As the
gore-covered corpse, that just last night had been Jason,
knocked the lower jawbone and a flapping tongue off the monster
formerly-known as Jarrod, Gina thought it was romantic that he
was protecting her, even now, from other men.
He’d showered her with jewellery when he was living. True to
form, he slipped a necklace of blue braided veins beaded with
blood clots and shards of bone over her head. He stroked her
hair, leaving streaks of red highlights in her golden curls, and
gave her an opened mouthed kiss with breath that was only
slightly worse than when he’d been living. As he pressed her
close, she felt a familiar bulge in his pants.
Supernatural monsters had featured strongly in their bedroom
games, and while Gina had more frequently fantasized about dying
in the arms of a vampire, as fangs and fingers stimulated her,
dying from a lover’s zombie bite still managed to appeal to her
blood lust.
Gooey little romantic twit, Allison thought as she watched (from
the safety of subterranean window) Gina’s jugular blood arc
through the air. The first rule to surviving the Zombie
Apocalypse is remembering that when the living dies, they’re
dead. A walking corpse is just a meat shell wearing a skin mask.
The soul done gone home and you’ll join it if you get squeamish
about killing a monster wearing your loved one’s face.
Allison prided herself on being practical and prepared. After
stopping at the garage and the kitchen to pick up critical
supplies, she’d locked herself in the basement. It was her
favourite room in the house. She was pursuing a Masters degree
in Library Sciences with a minor in ancient, forbidden, occult
reference books, and it just didn’t seem right to flip through
an evil tome while sitting in the sunshine of a bay window.
She’d spent far more time studying the gods and demons of other
dimensions than the short list of cheap Hollywood monsters, but
knew this much: If they were voodoo zombies, all she needed to
do was feed them salt. If they were Romero zombies, she’d have
to decapitate them. But how to tell which is which?
The rest of this story is no longer on our website, but will be available for purchase Summer 2009 with the release of our annual anthology!
Killer-words: Year One
Tiny Slices of Darkness
It will feature all the fiction stories posted on the site this year (including the rest of this one), brand new stories, a year in review, some of our best articles, original art, and more!
If you are interested in pre-ordering copies of the book please send an email to
jude@killer-works.com
Bio Bits:
Tina L. Jens has worked as an author, editor, and publisher in
horror and dark fantasy for fifteen years, and is a three-time
Bram Stoker Award nominee. She has nearly 50 stories published
in major anthologies and her first novel, The Blues Ain’t Nothin’,
won the National Federation of Press Women’s Award for Best
Novel. She can usually be found lurking in a Chicago Blue’s bar!
For more information check out her website at
www.tinajens.com
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