Cry Laughing With "Mother of Tears"
Media / 7/7/2008 2:55:32 PM
At long last, "Mother of Tears" has arrived. Our esteemed guest writer, Michael Penkas , keeps us from getting lost down the retro road of the final installment of Dario Argento's Three Mothers trilogy.
The Three Mothers trilogy wraps up thirty years after it began with The Mother
of Tears, the bloodiest, nude-iest, and unintentionally funniest of the three
films. It opens with a coffin marked in witch symbols and wrapped in chains
being unearthed in a church courtyard. Inside are three demon statuettes and an
old sweater. If you're thinking these demon statuettes are talismans of black
magic which will be used to bring about a new dark age ... you're completely
wrong. Turns out the Second Age of Witches will be brought into being by a
sleeveless sweater decorated with glitter-glue. A woman is disemboweled by three
demons and a monkey (don't ask, it's never explained) and we're off on another
of Dario Argento's nonsensical odysseys of beautifully-shot violence.
The city of Rome becomes a nexus of evil as witches from around the world
converge to celebrate the Second Age of Witches with their queen, the
Mother of
Tears. No trouble spotting the witches – they're the Goths with eighties hair
strutting through airports, train stations and the streets of Rome. Stuck in the
middle of this retro nightmare are Asia Argento and a supporting cast of
disposable co-stars. Apparently, the secret to fighting the Mother of Tears lies
in finding an old man who has the answers; but he is brutally murdered before he
can do anything besides mutter a few cryptic clues that lead to another old man;
but he is also brutally murdered before he can do anything besides mutter a few
cryptic clues that lead to still another old man; but he is ... well, it becomes
pretty obvious where this is all leading. At one point, I swear to you, the film
rips off the plot line of Harry Potter word for word (on an unrelated note, I'd
love to see a Harry Potter movie directed by
Dario Argento).
Frankly, this film is an homage to eighties horror. The violence in this film is
tempered by the fact that it's so over-the-top that you can't help but chuckle.
There are spilled intestines, corpse-filled pools, gouged eyes, cut throats,
severed limbs and a spear that ... well, the spear scene is just the scene where
you either leave the theatre or start to laugh.
The nudity is also so gratuitous that, like the violence, it's just easier to
take it as a joke. The witches in general are fond of exposing their breasts and
the Mother of Tears spends a lot of time strutting through her lair wearing
nothing but platform shoes, a wicked smile and way too much make-up. The only
genuinely creepy moment in the film is Asia Argento's shower scene ... and this
is only disconcerting when you realize that it's Asia's father, Dario, who's
directing it.
If you've been following the work of Dario Argento this far, you'll get
"The
Mother of Tears". Not overly disturbing or horrifying (although there are a few
"jump out of your seat" moments); but the kind of fun, outrageously bloody
horror movie that used to litter the local Cineplexes twenty years ago and best
seen with an audience laughing and screaming all around you. Definitely enjoy this one
at the theatre.
Michael Penkas
Jill's p.s. Send us your thoughts on Argento and/or Michael's take on the trilogy: comments@killer-works.com
p.p.s. New Flash Fiction is here! Mike Martinez leads a class on dismemberment. Get your scalpels and gather 'round kids!
